Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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