He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize