genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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