So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
