I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
