turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You are the jesus of drinking
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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