i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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