I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
