Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
