So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
