What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
