I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
