I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
