My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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