You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
