"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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