I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
