just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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