Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
