Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
