Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
