It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
