singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize