Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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