you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
