oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
