Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize