im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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