The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
