Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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