Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
