When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
