I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
