We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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