Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize