i can't believe i had my finger in that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
