All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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