Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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