Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
