Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
