Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
two words: eviction party
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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