hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize