I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I touched a dick in church today
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize