I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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