You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
please come you make the beer taste better
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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