is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
