i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
