hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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