your parents love me but you hate me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
