i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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