Someone shit on the floor
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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