I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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