hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
