I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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