this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
