i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just had sex on a roof
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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