I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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