either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
