I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize