he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
