i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
