What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just pynch a tree in the face
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hippo gnu deer
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
