I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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