and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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