quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
