And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
