Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
