i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
