Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
please don't ironically join a cult
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