Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
