3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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