you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
one might say we're banned from that church
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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