You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
