Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize