so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
