Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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