Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
